Enjoy Your Life—Without Sabotaging It

One thing I’ve realized more and more as I’ve gotten older—and more emotionally mature—is this:

It is essential to enjoy your life.

Not someday. Not when you hit the goal weight. Not when the relationship works out. Not when the move is over. Not when you “earn” it.

Now.

But here’s the nuance no one talks about: You have to enjoy your life without sabotaging it. That’s the art.

The Old Extremes

Most people swing between two poles:

1. Hyper-discipline, no joy.
All productivity. No play. Everything is optimized. Life becomes a checklist.

or

2. Self-indulgence disguised as freedom.
Avoidance. Numbing. Impulsivity. Calling chaos “fun.”

Neither one creates a life that feels good to live.

One makes you rigid. The other makes you unstable. The sweet spot? Intentional enjoyment.

Go to the Concert

Even if you have work tomorrow. Even if you’re “behind.” Even if it’s inconvenient.

Joy expands you.

Music, connection, art—these things regulate your nervous system. They remind you you’re alive. They make the hard parts of life lighter.

That’s not irresponsible. That’s intelligent.

Have Lunch With the Friend Who Makes You Laugh

The one who doesn’t drain you. The one who doesn’t use you for free therapy. The one who leaves you feeling bigger, not smaller.

Connection with the right people is fuel.

We talk so much about productivity, optimization, self-improvement—but very little about relational joy as a success strategy.

It matters.

Take the Break

Go to the antique store. Walk through a bookstore for no reason. Sit in the sun for 20 minutes in the middle of the day.

You are not a machine.

Strategic breaks increase creativity, clarity, and long-term consistency. When you deny yourself small joys, you’re far more likely to binge on destructive ones later.

Learn the Drums at 37

Or 47. Or 63.

The idea that certain desires “expire” is a lie we absorb from a culture obsessed with timelines. Learning something new keeps your brain elastic. It keeps your identity expanding. It prevents you from shrinking into a fixed, rigid version of yourself.

You are allowed to evolve. You are allowed to begin again.

The Key: Without Sabotage

Here’s the question I ask myself now: Does this choice add to my life—or quietly erode it?

Going to a concert? Adds. Drinking to the point of regret? Erodes.

Lunch with a nourishing friend? Adds. Spending hours rehashing a toxic relationship? Erodes.

Learning drums? Adds. Scrolling for three hours instead of living? Erodes.

Enjoyment should energize you—not create cleanup.

Maturity Is Integration

When you’re younger, enjoyment often comes with fallout. Hangovers. Drama. Emotional chaos. Financial stress.

As you mature, you learn how to hold both joy and responsibility at the same time.

You can:

• Have fun.

• Build wealth.

• Maintain boundaries.

• Prioritize health.

• Protect your peace.

• And still live fully.

It’s not either/or. It’s integration.

You Don’t Have to Suffer to Be Successful

There’s a quiet belief many high-achieving people carry: “If I’m enjoying myself, I must be doing something wrong.”

No. You’re doing it right.

A life you enjoy is not a distraction from your goals—it’s the foundation of them. When you genuinely like your days, you make better decisions. You choose better partners. You tolerate less dysfunction. You stop chasing chaos for stimulation. Because you’re already nourished.

If this resonates, this is exactly the kind of work we do together.

As a life coach, I help you build a life that feels expansive and stable at the same time—where you’re disciplined but not deprived, joyful but not self-sabotaging. We recalibrate your standards, your habits, and your nervous system so you don’t have to choose between success and enjoyment.

You get both. And you get to actually like your life while you’re building it.